The Problem with Peace Deals

If Bibi could strike peace deal with Hamas, I suppose I can do the same with the father of my children. I thought. Yet, both of the guys still "withhold" aid for months and cause a violent chaos within.
So it happens, the above mentioned "we" worked out two different types of deals at the same time: one, for common good and one, deeply personal.

Which one is harder? I am not a professional peace maker but I am confident that both are equally difficult, because they equally involve little human lives. And about that I know a thing or two - their names are Ira and Luca.

But when it comes to public opinion and democracy, it’s the people’s voice that matters most. The vox populi was clear: the war must end, the next generations must live in peace.

On a personal level, however, a “peace deal” is often decided by just one person — the judge. Not exactly democratic, nor entirely fair, but it’s the system we’ve built and rely on when we are too weak to resolve things privately.

Anything that is personal and concerns your loved ones is harder, for yourself. And sometimes, that's all that matters. Political world becomes much less relevant, then. We all know, Bibi doesn't care nor about children of Gaza nor the hostages. If he would, there would be a peace deal before the 7th of October 2023. Yet the "silent" war in Gaza was just a matter of time to become "loud".

Everything that could be said about this war has already been said. What remains is the truth the world must finally acknowledge: war itself is a failure. It is not a strategy, nor a solution — it is the collapse of both.

This war, like every war before it, stands as proof that diplomacy broke down, leadership faltered, and humanity lost its voice. We must begin to hold accountable not only those who fire the weapons, but those who coordinate, justify, and enable them.

That's a real "Peace Deal" problem: Will the justice for thousands of lost lives ever find its way?

It could have been prevented or at least not provoked. But it was taken to the max.

Everything has already been said about this horrific war. And thank heavens, it's ceased, for now.

However, the problem with peace deals is that it takes years of brutal fight, dozens of innocent victims to finally admit that prevention is the best cure to everything.

What is lost cannot be regained in the same form and shape. Like Darwin once said: "It is not the strongest that survives, but the one who can adapt best".

And perhaps that’s what peace really is, the willingness to adapt when everything else has failed.

Does Peace Deal means you have to compromise the reality?

I am being blackmailed by my ex to exactly do so on my social media and here… on one of the last spaces he cannot take away from me, for the sake of “financial benefits for the kids.” But in my reality: the truth cannot be bought.

I am open to sponsored collaborations on my social media — that’s transparent, transactional, and professional. But these "hush money" for mine and kids private life, repackaged from a self-made factory of lies and deceptions, is something entirely different. That’s not storytelling, it’s an extortion. And trust me, I am sacrificing my very best interest for that. I guess I am not such a material girl after all.

There’s a thin line between sharing and selling, between being open and being exploited. Too many people today cross that line in the name of exposure, followers, or sympathy. But no amount of money or public validation can justify erasing the truth — especially when children are part of the narrative.

Blackmail thrives on silence, just like propaganda does. Both feed on fear and on the hope that the truth will stay buried long enough to lose its power. But the grief stays forever, and only gets more bearable with time.

In politics, perhaps it often pays off. The constant rewriting the history and questioning its leaders. But reinventing a whole new story to back up your "truth" is just pure Kremlin-like propaganda.

Take concentration camps. Civilians living nearby often heard whispers or saw the smoke but were denied any confirmed details of what was taking place inside. The same veil of silence later surrounded the Soviet Gulag system, North Korea’s political prison camps, and the internment sites of the Bosnian War in the 1990s.

In each case, the lack of transparency wasn’t incidental — it was deliberate. Control of information became a weapon as powerful as any physical barrier. When the truth is hidden, accountability dies with it.

Everyone has rights to their feelings and arguments, and for that we have Freedom of Speech and Expression in our Western world. This right without being exercised opens the hellmouth of quiet suffering and injustice.

In the world, where quite everything can be bought, we have more pride and joy in things that aren't for sale at all. And I am willing to invest in that. In the reality I live in and only I can judge.

There’s no peace in compromising the reality and your emotions.

The same moral erosion that allows leaders to justify the bombing of civilians also exists, quietly, in the everyday compromises keeps from peace at home. Both rely on denial and illusion.

There is no excuse for bombing children, EVER

Many generations will remember that as one of the most unjustified tragedies in modern history.
Nothing will take their lives back, and some wounds just never heal.

Look at the cover of the article, it's a child holding a messy "Peace Deal". He is not even able to read, yet. What is it supposed to truly give him? His real peace deal will never truly exist and will be under drafting his whole life.

The only positive thing is that he is a survivor. But he is not a winner in this war. The world leaders make political shows: laugh and joke at the press conferences, the traumas of millions are so alive.

What does a peace deal have to offer a child who has survived this senseless war?

A ceasefire may silence the bombs, but it cannot quiet the echoes in his mind. Paper agreements don’t rebuild demolished homes, or bring back the parents buried beneath them. To him, “peace” is not a political achievement — it’s the absence of screaming at night, the return of light and water, the hope that tomorrow will not bring another explosion.

That's how lots of children from broken homes have to function, no matter what are the causes.
Children of divorce often carry invisible wounds that resemble those of children who have lived through war. Numerous psychological studies show that exposure to intense parental conflict, instability, and emotional manipulation can trigger symptoms strikingly similar to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Research from the Journal of Divorce & Remarriage found that children from high-conflict separations display higher rates of nightmares, hypervigilance, anxiety, and chronic fear of abandonment — all classic trauma responses.

Link to the whole research: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35958703/

A study by the American Academy of Pediatrics further reports that children caught in prolonged custody battles or exposed to one parent’s psychological coercion may develop toxic stress, a state that alters brain development in ways comparable to children exposed to violence.

Like young survivors of war, these children learn early how to read danger in a room, to sense emotional explosions before they happen, to protect siblings, or to mediate peace between adults who should have protected them. They grow up fluent in survival — not childhood.

For a child survivor, a peace deal offers only words, signatures, and promises — but rarely normalcy, justice, or healing. He will grow up learning that peace is fragile, conditional, and often negotiated by people who never had to hide under rubble. And yet, despite it all, he will keep growing.

Because even when adults destroy the world around them, children somehow find ways to imagine a new one. And that's called hope.