It wasn’t nearly as bad as everyone said. True, its slow pace and lack of substance might leave most viewers bored - but I went in with zero expectations and found myself genuinely intrigued. Or, perhaps it was my ADHD Hyperfocus momentum.

What struck me was the quietness, and maybe actually that was the most interesting approach in today's world of overstimulating noise and distractions. Especially while having a husband who is the most commented person on Earth, the 45th and 47th President of The United States, Donald J. Trump.

So if you are looking for a scandal or sensation, this isn't your cinema choice. If you want some female action and thrill, might want to see The HouseMaid instead.

PR Without IR

How did the premiere of arguably the most powerful First Lady in the world arrive in Europe and the UK and Australia with so little presence? Was this strategic? Political? A reflection of nationalist priorities? Or simply a lack of international interest?

With an estimated $75 million budget (including marketing and distribution), the film feels surprisingly contained. Most scenes unfold in highly controlled environments - Trump Tower, Mar-a-Lago, private aircraft. At times, it feels less like a cinematic production and more like a polished lifestyle showcase. One could argue it resembles a high-end campaign shoot rather than a feature film.

The numbers are telling.

Box Office Totals:
Domestic (U.S. & Canada): ~$13.6 million
International (including Europe): ~$0.16 million
Worldwide: ~$13.8 million

The overwhelming majority of revenue came from the United States.

You might expect that Slovenia (~2 milion population) - Melania’s homeland, would significantly contribute to the international numbers. Yet the film appears to have generated little traction there. That feels unfortunate, especially considering her historical position as an Eastern European-born First Lady and only the second foreign-born First Lady in U.S. history after Louisa Adams.

Republican Picture of a Perfect Woman

The film itself is reserved, restrained, even. That comes as no surprise if you are familiar with Melania’s public image. She has consistently chosen privacy over exposure, distance over commentary. That decision deserves respect.

Yet the contrast between her world and the President’s is striking. It almost feels as though they inhabit parallel realities. The film presents a traditional, supportive role - one framed as elegant and composed. For some viewers, this may read as privilege, for others, out of touch. It's an American Dream, but low-effort and beauty oriented. As a sapiosexual, I would love to see more intellect and grid.

At times, the film feels overly careful. It plays it safe, avoiding deeper excavation. It leaves the viewer slightly unsatisfied, unspoiled, even. There is a sense of controlled mystique. The art of distance. The art of seduction through absence and slowness.

Visually, much of the film resembles a luxury fashion editorial, which feels authentic given Melania’s modeling background. The aesthetic is polished, immaculate, curated. Something I very much enjoy too, and haters find dismodest and vain.

Yet there are untold stories.

Her father appears only briefly. Her son, too. These moments are fleeting - no more than a few minutes combined. One understands the desire for privacy, but the limited access leaves emotional gaps. The viewer senses there is more beneath the surface, yet the film never presses.

At times, it feels like an extended, high-end product placement advertisement. The lingering question is: what exactly is being sold? Her image? The Trump brand? A legacy? It has definitely been first-seat edited by POTUS to subscribe to his Golden Age dream.

Thank You for Your Secret Service

As expected, the lifestyle portrayed is exclusive and tightly woven into her husband’s ambitions and political trajectory. There is little exploration of personal passion or independent narrative. But perhaps that, too, is intentional. This is not a confessional documentary. It is a controlled glimpse.

For me, the stillness worked - especially when approached with a calm, unbiased mindset. It is a quiet film in a loud political era. Soft power and propaganda at once. Whether that makes it compelling or forgettable depends entirely on what you seek. I was curious till the very end.

And In the end, we are reminded of one thing: we do not know Melania. And perhaps we never will.